Show Him He’s (Still) Your Man

This year, I’m looking ahead to Valentine’s Day with a different perspective than I have in years past. About eleven months ago, we expanded from having one to three kids overnight. And boy, did it throw us for a doozy. We were suddenly outnumbered and not quite sure how to deal with it. Amidst the challenge of figuring out how in the world to take care of twins, we were chasing around our 17 month old toddler, and doing our best to give him the attention he needed to successfully transition into his role as the older brother.

My days consisted of all those newborn things like feeding babies, changing babies, entertaining babies, pumping, playing with our oldest, and repeatedly watching our house turn into a disaster zone. As soon as we’d put the kids to bed each night we’d make a quick sweep through the rooms and pick up enough plastic crap so we could see the floors again. Then we’d maybe watch something recorded on our DVR and zonk out just a few minutes later. We were in survival mode and all of our energy was being spent on our kids. 

We made it through, but honestly it was straining on our marriage. We’d sneak away for date nights when we could, but they never seemed to last quite long enough and I always felt like I wanted and needed more time with the man I started this whole deal with.

It can feel kind of hopeless sometimes, can’t it? More than anything we want our man to know we still think about him, that we are still head over heels for him, and that he’s our first love, but the immediate needs of our children oftentimes take priority, we’re always feeling exhausted, and by default our poor men get pushed to the back burner.

Instead of greeting him with a kiss and affectionate words at the end of each day, he might get handed a baby who’s screaming and in need of a diaper change. Instead of a grand meal being on the table, he may have gotten a text around 4:30 asking if he could please pick up take out – because there’s no possibility of setting down a child long enough to even prepare macaroni and cheese. And instead of pulling out the racy lingerie, he might get to listen to us as we tell him how the remaining baby weight makes us feel ugly in it, so we pull on the comfy sweatpants again.

Yet, day after day they put up with us, and love us through it all.

This year, Valentine’s Day isn’t just a cliche holiday for me. I want to take advantage of this special day designed for lovers and spoil the man I’m madly in love with. Life goes so fast, and I don’t want another month or year to pass by when he’s constantly getting my leftovers. This needs to be the starting point of intentionally prioritizing my husband again. I want him to know he’s my man, and that while being a mom is a huge part of my identity, I loved him first and still love him first.

I’m sure we’re all in different seasons in our relationships. Maybe you’re going through a bit of a tough time, or maybe you’re closer than you’ve ever been. Whatever the case, will you join me and make your man feel extra special this Valentine’s Day?

Let’s plan ahead instead of it being an afterthought. Let’s think about what HE WANTS AND NEEDS, and surprise the heck out of him. Be the sexy woman he fell in love with (despite your changed body) and make him feel LOVED in ways only you know how. From there, turn it into a lifestyle of always remembering how important he is.

What are some creative ways you keep the spark going amidst the craziness of motherhood? 

A friend told me she puts little notes in her husband’s car before he leaves in the morning – I thought that was SO CUTE! We’d love to hear your ideas!

XOXO,

Amber