Perspectives: Going Back to Work

Whether going back to work after a maternity leave, an extended stay-at-home time or, like me, a break between work assignments, there are things to be excited about and things to miss about being at home.  After being away from full-time work for ten months, I’ve been back at it now for two weeks and I’ve been reflecting on the similarities and differences between being home and working full-time.  Here are some of the things I’ve learned along the way:

• Coffee…I still need it more than ever.  Although I was typically up pretty early while I was home, now that I need to be at work primped and ready for the day, my alarm clock goes off much earlier than before.  While at home, I typically had about 4-5 networking meetings per week at a Starbuck’s or Caribou, so I felt justified in ordering and savoring a $4 skim latte.  Now, my at-home Keurig and at-work brewed coffee is far less fancy and is more slugged than sipped, but it still does the trick.

• Routine…fixed vs. flexible.  One of the things I loved most about being home was the flexibility in my schedule.  I was able to schedule meetings and appointments that would fit around the demands at home.  I cherished the freedom of being able to pick up the kids at school at 2:30 pm or the ability to do a Target run at 9 am in the morning.  As a working mom, these types of errands are impossible to accomplish during the day without a complete rearranging of my schedule.  Now that I’m back at work full-time, like many others, I’ll be trying to squeeze in all those errands in the evenings and on weekends.

• Space…breeds creativity.  Prior to my ten month sabbatical, I had been in a high-stress full-time role.  It took me months to consciously decompress and after I did, I felt noticeably more creative.  When you work full-time and try to combine that with an already busy home life, I think your brain gets so full with decisions to be made, lists of things to do and meetings to prepare for, there just isn’t much room left for creativity.  I’ve tried hard over the years to foster what creative spark I have through my photography, but there was a noticeable difference in my creative motivation once my brain was less cluttered.

• Stress….it exists no matter what.  While I was home, I still felt stress, but it was different.  Really different.  It was more calming, if that makes any sense.  More welcomed.  Healthier.  That panicky feeling I used to get when I had too many things to balance between work and home went away.  No more sleepless nights feeling anxious about an upcoming presentation or thinking about a difficult work decision.  I slept better and worried less.  It was a wonderful blessing to learn the difference between good stress and bad stress and I wondered why I had let things bother me so much in the past.

• Stimulation…it comes from within.  While I was home, I thought I would really miss the adult interactions that come with a full-time job.  And I did.  Just not as much as I thought I would.  Instead, I found myself enjoying the quiet time to read the news, learn about a topic or tackle a project.  Having said that, now that I’m back at work, I’m enjoying the focus of learning a new business, a new job and meeting new people.  Although it’s been fun to dive into the details of budget planning and evaluating new technologies, I know now that I can get that stimulation from elsewhere, if I need to.

• Quality time…be here now.  A few years ago at work, I was blessed to be part of a great training session that focused on both bettering your work life and your personal life.  One of the concepts that was heavily discussed was “be here now”.  It basically means to be present in the moment and to focus on what’s in front of you…something that is easier said than done.  This hit me hard as I thought of the many times I checked email or Facebook while I was hanging out with the kids or helping them with their homework.  While I was home, it was easier to “be here now” and to not be as distracted.  I noticed a big difference in the quality level of the time we spent together and I liked it.  There’s no doubt about it, going back to work full-time will decrease the amount of time I’ll be able to spend with the kids and I will really, really miss that.  But, I’m hopeful that the benefits I’ve seen by “being here now” will continue to increase our quality time together!

• Paychecks….come in different shapes.  While I was home, it was really gratifying for me to be able to support our family in ways that I hadn’t been able to in the past.  I loved being the carpool mom, keeping the house clean, baking cookies and maximizing our quality time by running errands while they were all at school and work.  There was no monetary reward, but for whatever reason, being able to do those things made me feel like a better mom and a better spouse.  Working full-time pulls you in so many different directions and I remember many days feeling like I wasn’t doing a good job performing any of my roles.  But, as satisfying as it is to excel on the homefront, there is also great satisfaction in contributing to the family in a financial sense.  Knowing that by my working, we can take that extra vacation, buy those shoes my daughter wants, go out to dinner a few times a week and feel more secure in our finances is rewarding, too.

Although it’s good to be back at work, I already miss being at home.  Since I’ve had kids, I’ve only ever known what it’s like to be a working mom.  Now I’ve seen another perspective and even though I love working, I know more than ever what I’m missing out on by not being at home.  I feel blessed to have had this experience and to have gained this new insight.  Work / life balance has taken on a new meaning for me.  It’s not about balancing the “tasks” you have in both places, but maximizing the “feelings” you get from being both at work and at home.  This new definition makes balance seem even more unattainable, but as I embark on this new chapter of my career journey, I’m committed to establishing better boundaries for myself, worrying less, creating space, being more present and striving for flexibility.  I want it all!

Do you think it’s possible to find work / life balance?  What strategies do you use to maximize your time at work and at home?