With only 10 weeks to go until our first baby arrives, I’ve finally started reading the pile of parenting books I’ve been meaning to read since we found out we were expecting back in June. I kept pushing off all the reading, afraid I would be overwhelmed with sleep training techniques and parenting methods, but lately I started to feel it was better to be prepared and informed than completely in the dark. Knowledge is power, right?
I picked up a few different books (Babywise, Happiest Baby on the Block and Moms on Call, to name a few) and started devouring everything I could about sleep strategies, feeding cycles and infant care. I’ll admit that the idea of “giving my child the gift of nighttime sleep” was really appealing to this momma-to-be who really likes her own sleep!
As I read through these books, I quickly identified methods that seemed to resonate with my husband and me. We’re fairly organized, structured, type-A individuals, so naturally we gravitated toward more structured parenting styles with more regimented nap and feeding cycles.
But as I continued to read, I noticed something ugly start to rear its head: pride. The more I read about the parenting styles I preferred, the more I started to hear a small voice in my head say, “This is the superior way to raise a newborn!” Quite honestly, those thoughts took me by surprise and made me sick to my stomach.
I’ve never really understood the so-called “mommy wars” that are talked about so frequently, but this gave me my first little glimpse into the way they begin. Before our babies even arrive, our hearts and minds begin to view one way of parenting as superior. If that method happens to work well for your baby, I can only imagine that sense of superiority grows stronger.
After having two miscarriages before this pregnancy, all my opinions and ideas about what type of birth I wanted to have went out the window. I’ve been asked countless times during this pregnancy about my birth plan, and my honest response? I really don’t care one bit! I truly just want our baby to be born happy and healthy, whatever that looks like.
The experience of not being able to have a baby brought humility to my perspective on birth. I hope that in the weeks to come, I can bring a little more of that same humility to my ideas and hopes for parenting our little one, too.
