Second Time Around: Why My Baby is Doomed

I am now about halfway through my second pregnancy. Saying the two pregnancies has been different is the understatement of the year.

While I was fairly breezy the first time around, with this pregnancy, that feeling has been taken to a whole new level.

Like … let’s talk about caffeine. The nice thing about the first trimester is that everything that isn’t carbs coated in cheese makes me hurl, so I don’t even have to worry about it. After the first trimester, though, I’m all “wait, I have a toddler, and I work full-time, and oh yeah, bone-crushing pregnancy exhaustion!” So, yep. The old Starbucks Gold Card is getting a workout. (I generally follow the March of Dimes recommendations – but you’d better believe that if I’m allowed 200 mg of caffeine, I am ingesting 199 of those delicious little suckers.)

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Oh, and the first time? I had time to exercise regularly. I did CrossFit and was in awesome shape and threw around heavy weights until late in my third trimester. This time, um, chasing a toddler is exercise, right? Because that’s really all I have the energy for. And let’s not even get started about “losing the baby weight.” Really, I’m just waiting until we’re done having kids to lose it all at once from both pregnancies in one amazing hurrah.

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Sometimes I remember to take a weekly bump picture, but I guess they’re not weekly if you’ve taken, like, two through the course of your whole pregnancy.

I often forget I’m pregnant. “17 … no, 18 weeks? 19 weeks? And 4 days? Well, crud.” is a common refrain. I vaguely remember that I’m due sometime in early February, but after going nine days overdue with my son (who had to be forcibly evicted before I murdered a well-meaning grocery store cashier at random), ha, due dates. I’ll be happy if this kid is out by St. Patrick’s Day. Due dates are overrated.

Also, is pregnancy rage bad for your baby? Probably. I imagine Alicia Silverstone and Gwyneth Paltrow wouldn’t approve. But wow, the all-consuming rage is something special. New this pregnancy? Rage contractions. When people make me mad, I have Braxton-Hicks contractions. “YOU ARE GIVING ME RAGE CONTRACTIONS” is a very real refrain in my house/office/car. Basically, I hate everyone and everything, unless you toss some candy at me from a safe distance before approaching like I am some sort of rogue circus elephant.

This time, there will be no baby shower. No cake, no baby shower cards and pictures for the baby book. Oh yeah, I should buy a baby book. I know that people have Very Strong Opinions about showers for second babies, but I would feel sort of silly having one because we don’t really need anything and my kids are the same sex (two boys) and fairly close in age (about 2.5 years apart). Sorry, kiddo!

Up next in the “Second Time Around” series: musings on why second pregnancies are actually way better than the first!

*Author’s disclaimer: We love this baby very much and we are very excited and this baby is probably not actually doomed.

Brieanne Hilton
Brie Hilton lives in the Northland is a stay-at-home mom with multiple side hustles in the Northland. Her oldest son, Charlie, is 7 and has his own pet-sitting business and outsmarts his parents at least three times a week. Her youngest, Patrick, is 5 and has cerebral palsy and autism, so she considers herself an expert on navigating the special needs life on way too little sleep. In her spare time (ha), Brie teaches group fitness classes, has a boutique in her basement, naps too much, and actively ignores the piles of laundry on the floor.

2 COMMENTS

  1. TOTALLY agree on the “pregnancy weight loss” sentiment — totally don’t care anymore… I’ll lose it all again, eventually, when we’re done having kids!

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