Second Time Around: What Sucks Less (and More!)

During the first trimester of my second pregnancy, all I could do was wallow in the special kind of awful that second pregnancies bring with them. No arriving home from work and immediately going to bed, having to toss the toddler in his crib or somewhere else baby-proofed before puking, changing gross diapers and having to prepare meals while extremely smell-averse … it was all terrible.

BUT! As time went by, I realized that being pregnant for the second time is, in many ways, better than the first – especially in terms of stress. Let’s bullet point it out, shall we?

  • No agonizing daycare search. My son’s daycare is fabulous. Instead of taking tours and crafting lists of carefully worded questions, I said, “hey, can you hold us a spot for May-ish? Cool.”
  • No “should I go back to work or not?” The answer, for me, is yes. I know the first day will be emotional and it’ll take a few weeks to get a new routine going, but I know it’s what’s best for our family.
  • No baby shower thank you notes. Second babies get the shaft in many ways, like not receiving an adorable baby shower in their honor. BUT! The light at the end of the tunnel is that you don’t have to aggravate your pregnancy carpal tunnel (yep, this is a thing) by writing sixty thank you notes before you give birth. If you thought wedding thank you notes were bad, try thanking a close family friend for purchasing you nipple cream. Yep.
  • It’s way cheaper. We have all major baby gear already, which means I can direct my spending toward stupid cute stuff instead. LOOK AT THE WEENSY OVERPRICED HAT, YOU GUYS.

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  • I’m not afraid of giving birth. My son was 9 pounds, 5 ounces with an off-the-charts giant head – and I delivered him vaginally. At my first OB appointment with this pregnancy, I was like, “so, uh, what about that big baby? Going to do anything different next time?” and the doctor, bless his sweet little heart, was like “no way! You have a PROVEN PELVIS, girl.” (For real, my OB calls me “girl” and it’s the cutest thing. I want to carry him around in my pocket to give me pep talks when I’m sad.) Also, dibs on “Proven Pelvis” as a band name.
  • I trust my care providers completely. I’m convinced there’s a marketing firm out there whose goal it is to terrify first-time moms about Unnecessary Interventions and Evil OBs and the like. Last time, though, my OB had no qualms about letting me push (while I pooped on him, even!) for 3.5 hours without a hint of rushing me. I was practically begging him for a C-section and he was all, “I know you can do this, girl!” and guess what? I could. And I will again.

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  • Confidence. I had literally never changed a diaper when I was pregnant with my son. Now, I have changed six million diapers of varying degrees of yuck, in all sorts of less-than-ideal circumstances. I know what to do when my kid is sick, I know how to breastfeed, and I know that when you’re stuck in the newborn trenches and can’t see the light – it gets better.
  • No worry about getting my “pre-baby body” back. At this point, it’s long gone – and I’ve come to accept that and love it for what it’s done and not what it looks like. My post-baby body is way more awesome, anyway, because it’s produced and nourished a really cool little kid. Haters to the left!

What else makes second pregnancies so awesome? Leave a comment here and let us know!

Brieanne Hilton
Brie Hilton lives in the Northland is a stay-at-home mom with multiple side hustles in the Northland. Her oldest son, Charlie, is 7 and has his own pet-sitting business and outsmarts his parents at least three times a week. Her youngest, Patrick, is 5 and has cerebral palsy and autism, so she considers herself an expert on navigating the special needs life on way too little sleep. In her spare time (ha), Brie teaches group fitness classes, has a boutique in her basement, naps too much, and actively ignores the piles of laundry on the floor.

1 COMMENT

  1. A…men. While I’m definitely curious what it’s going to be like having two, I’m not at all afraid or anxious about my whole world being rocked like it was with my first. While I wanted her here, I also had no clue how our life we’d made together was going to change once she arrived. Now, I just want him to be here so the three of us can cuddle him and enjoy him and do this new part of our adventure! Much more relaxed about the birth of this second one.

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