Expect the Unexpected

DSC_0388When my husband and I decided to have a baby, I began reading. Books, mommy blogs, pregnancy websites and baby forums quickly became my go-to resources for all things pregnancy and baby-related. I wanted to prepare myself for what I was going to be experiencing as a pregnant woman for the first time.

I read about ovulation and tracking my cycle and everything in-between to help us get pregnant. I prepared myself for the onslaught of glamorous pregnancy symptoms: fatigue, morning sickness, bloating, gas, sore boobs and weight gain. I don’t handle nausea all that well (I mean, who does?) so I mentally prepared to feast on saltine crackers and 7-Up for the first trimester. I jumped ahead in the books to learn about the ease of the second trimester, filled with energy and that pregnancy glow everyone talks about. And yes, I read stories about labor and birth. I needed time to fully digest everything that entails bringing life into this world.

I was ready.

When I finally got pregnant (after 8 months of tracking, trying and border-line obsessing about my ovulation), I didn’t experience any of these initial pregnancy symptoms. I know, hate me now, but I wasn’t even convinced I was pregnant due to my noticeable lack of symptoms. I didn’t feel overly tired, I wasn’t nauseous or bloated. My only real “symptom” was a missed period. Everything I had read told me I should be feeling different. I was not prepared to feel normal. Was I really even pregnant? We heard our sweet baby’s heartbeat at 10 weeks and even then, the whole experience seemed surreal because I felt so normal.

The rest of the pregnancy sailed by smoothly. It was so … uneventful. Which is a good thing! The only thing that was a bit of a challenge was getting the baby out. My daughter had to be evicted at 40 weeks, 5 days via an induction. We ended up having a c-section but even then, I felt like the whole thing was pretty easy-peasy.

The decision to have a second child was a no-brainer – I rocked this whole pregnancy thing the first time around. I loved being pregnant. Bring it on.

Silly me to think that my luck would repeat itself. My second pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks.

I felt pregnant from day ONE, I looked pregnant from day TWO, and after a particularly rough week of nausea around week 8, I figured there was no way I could survive the next 32 weeks. My second pregnancy has consisted of fatigue, nausea and loss of appetite, an unwanted heightened sense of smell, wacky lab results, more doctor appointments, added worry and less excitement. And I’m only 22 weeks along …

How is this possible? I’m the same woman – nothing has changed since my last pregnancy. How can this feel so dramatically different the second time around when everything was so simple the first time?

I’ve decided the only thing “normal” about pregnancy is that we really don’t know what to expect when we’re expecting. No two pregnancies are the same which makes it feel nearly impossible to prepare yourself for what’s about to happen to your body, both physically and emotionally! We can read every piece of pregnancy-related material available to us but we don’t really know how our bodies will react until we are in the neck-deep in the throes of this baby-making business.

The contradicting symptoms alone leave me both baffled and amazed at the same time. How crazy is it that one woman can go 9 months and not feel sick once but another woman throws up 5 times a day for 40 weeks and then continues to throw up for a few days after delivery?! We all have the same result, right? A baby! Maybe it’s more logical to just to hope for the best and prepare for the worst?

20vs20I wasn’t prepared for my first pregnancy to be so easy – not that I’m complaining – but it just wasn’t what I expected! I wasn’t prepared for my second pregnancy to be so pregnancy-like, if that makes any sense. My lack of typical pregnancy symptoms the first time was rare, I know that. This second pregnancy, and all its glory, is a little more common, I suppose, but I still can’t say that it will be like this for everyone. Every woman has a different story.

I quickly realized that this second pregnancy was going to be different so I put away the books and limited the time I spent trolling the internet for new pregnancy blogs to read. I’ve learned there is something to be said for too much information. I was on information overload the first time around and my experience didn’t match up to what I was reading. I’m throwing caution to the wind this time and as long as my doctor says the baby and I are healthy, I’m just going to go with it. I’m embracing the exhaustion and body aches, leg cramps and round ligament pain. I’m OK with the fact that I broke out my maternity jeans around week 7 but you better believe I did a happy dance when my appetite came back a few weeks ago.

Two vastly different pregnancies has left me wondering if our daughters will be similar in any way. I haven’t yet started reading about what it’s going to be like raising two daughters. I don’t think ANYTHING can prepare you for what life will be like with TWO little girls in the house but I’m so excited to meet this sweetheart and get to know her personality. After a calm pregnancy, my first-born is definitely a firecracker. Will my second daughter be more laid-back? Only time will tell.

One thing, for sure, that these two pregnancies have in common is how quickly the time went. Forty weeks goes by in the blink of an eye. In a matter of months, you have this baby that has completely consumed your life in the best possible ways. It’s amazing. Your pregnancy woes disappear once you look at your little miracle. Even if that miracle made you vomit 5 times a day…

Mackenzie Oakley
Hi! I’m Mackenzie, wife to Justin and mama to three beautiful babes. I grew up in Sioux Falls, SD and headed south for college in Lincoln, NE where I earned a bachelor’s degree in Marketing from UNL. I met my husband while I was visiting family in Kansas City in August 2007 and we've been together ever since. After graduating college in 2008, I landed my first job in Kansas City, Justin and I bought a house in Olathe, got married and started our little family. We’ve called the KC-area home for almost 10 years now! I work full-time for a small marketing firm and spend what little free time I have loving on my kids, attempting a little DIY here and blogging over at Baby By Oakley.