Tales from the NICU

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The stress, heartbreak, and fatigue felt by families who support and love babies in the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) is trying at best. The Fort Worth Moms Blog wants to honor those parents who care for their little ones through tubes and monitors and plastic. The March of Dimes, which exists to to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality, connected the FWMB with Sherae. She is sharing her story to spread awareness about the trials and triumphs of cheering for and loving on a a baby born prematurely–and how hope and healing comes through unlikely friendships.

NICU write upMy name is Sherae. My husband Kevin and I have been married for nine years. We had been married for five years before we were finally able to have my son, Braxton, via IVF.

It was exactly around November four years ago that I went into the hospital to be placed on bed rest because I was told that “things” just weren’t going right in my pregnancy. Bed rest was my best chance to have a breathing baby, not a stillborn baby.

(I must admit I have been a mess of tears for the past couple of days. I get like this every year around this time. I’m crying as I write this.)

While I was in the hospital on bed rest, the movie The Blind Side played frequently on the television in my room. I watched it about 100 times. I haven’t seen it in a while; and yesterday, of all days, it ran back-to-back, and I cried for hours. I often wonder if I will ever get beyond the pain and heartbreak that having a premature baby causes.

Losing my pregnancy early did something to me that I still can’t put into words. I was in my 29th week of pregnancy when Braxton had to be born via emergency C-section. He weighed 1lb 13oz at birth. Braxton’s original due date was February 9, 2010, but he was born on November 29. It took at least two birthdays before I felt a real connection to his birthday. That’s what preterm birth does to a mother. It robs you of the things you should enjoy. However, it can connect you to some of the most amazing people on earth; they can become like family to you.

While Braxton was in his incubator, I glanced over at the incubator next to his one day and saw a tiny baby girl, smaller than Braxton. (I didn’t think a baby could get any smaller than him.) She had a tiny pink bow in her hair with UV lights bathing her skin. Ada was a doll to me; I stared at her for so long.

The next day I met her beautiful mother Denae, and was amused that our names rhymed. I knew the moment I met her that she would be my friend for life. She also has an amazing husband, I should add. I developed this bond with Denae that I have with no other friend. During the time Braxton and Ada were in NICU, my husband was finishing up his degree and her husband Brian was working during the day, so we relied on each others’ support and company. I don’t know what I would do without Denae; she is my shoulder to cry on and one of my biggest supporters.

Braxton wasn’t able to walk away from the hospital without any battle scars. My son spent about 100 days total in the hospital, and he did end up having a tracheotomy tube placed for close to three years. He had it removed in August of 2013. Just before we left to have his reconstructive surgery, he had his first play in a pool at Deane and Brian’s house along side of his good friend Ada! 

During the month of November, I decided to wear my no-sew ballerina tutu during my afternoon jogs or to the gym (it demands a lot of attention). When people ask me why I’m wearing it, I respond by telling them: “It’s Prematurity Awareness Month; didn’t you know?” Then I go on to tell them Braxton’s story, and to go to the March of Dimes website to learn more about what they can do to help. Oftentimes they too know someone that has had a baby born early or they are just touched by what March of Dimes is doing.

March of DimesIf you are the parent of a premature sweetie, what or who helped you cope through the hard days at the hospital?

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