Work-from-Home Husband

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Hello, my name is Rachel, and my husband works from home.

work from home

That’s how I feel I should introduce my life as of lately. I feel like we (housewives with work-at-home husbands) should have a support group. And, I KNOW the husbands should as well. This post could go for stay-at-home dads of work-at-home wives, too. Whenever I tell people that my husband works from home, I see starry-eyed women who miss their husbands every day. And I’m not here to belittle that or to boast or to tell you to get over it. I’ve been you, too. My husband started working from home last year. It has been a blessing, for sure. I love having my husband here with me every day. But it also has its struggles. For both of us.

First, there are more chances for conflict. We are around each other all day, every day, with a few breaks here and there for errands or time with friends. But, for the most part, we have 8+ hours of opportunity to be with each other. To pick each other apart. To not miss each other.

Second, we have had to give ourselves grace to get used to the new schedule. Yes, it is loud and crazy and chaotic in the mornings with getting kids up and fed and off to the next thing. That is also when my husband needs to respond to emails or dive in on the new project. He is usually scheduled for one or more conference calls in the morning. We have had to learn to give grace. This is a whole new lifestyle for us! Respecting each other’s work in the same space. The kids have had to learn this as well.

Third, absolutely nothing is private. I don’t keep secrets from my husband. At least, I thought I didn’t. Then, he started working from home and I started to realize the things I did throughout the day changed because he was here. Now, he knows that I don’t shower every single day. He knows that I take time for myself during nap time. He knows how often I go get coffee. How often I call and talk to my parents. And the beauty of it is, he really doesn’t care. The first week or so that he worked from home, I ran myself ragged trying to do all the things I thought he’d want me to do all day to make it “worth” me staying home. I remember him looking at me one night and just saying, “I don’t know how you do it all. It’s exhausting just watching you.” That was such a release for me. I was able to confide in him that I’ve been “showing off” a little. And from then on, we went about our business as normal.

Last, we have had to be more creative about having special time together. I used to really look forward to having my husband home in the evenings and spending time together then. Now that he’s home all day, we have to work at setting aside time for the two of us to just talk. We have to remind ourselves to not let proximity replace intimacy.

I had a few friends suggest, “That’s how you get pregnant!” (having my husband accessible at any given moment). But it has not been like that. My husband loves his job and he loves to work and see a project completed. If he’s in the zone, there is no pulling him out. And that’s okay. We have learned to leave the workday between the hours of 7:00 and 4:00.

Having a work-from-home husband is a beautiful, messy thing.

Can you relate? What advice could you offer?

4 COMMENTS

  1. Guilty! Of giving you that starry-eyed look (even though I don’t think working from home would work well for us!). Didn’t think about the conflict aspect or even feeling like someone was watching you (so you put on your best self!). I think your situation is becoming more common (though I would describe you as a work from home mom!) so thanks for letting us peek into your world!

    • Autumn, thanks! I think it is becoming more and more common, and I’m anxious to see what advice other moms might have for me.

  2. My husband and I work for his family’s business, along with his parents and brother. My office is about 10 feet from my husband’s. Our business is such that he is much less busy in the winter (and I only work about 5 ours a week in my office), so he is home a lot. He is sometimes working, sometimes just being home. I know how it is when you talk about trying to “show off” when he was first home. I do that sometimes, when in reality, I spend a lot of time playing and snuggling with my kids. It definitely is an adjustment period as things start to slow down at work and he is home more. The kids and I make a lot of plans, where my husband sometimes can’t make plans, and sometimes won’t. It can be maddening!

  3. We have had this work at home situation twice with my husbands job, and I fully agree that there is good with the hard on this one. One of the hardest parts is when the kids want to see him and feel like they can just barge into his office space. They don’t understand the concept that he is working and needs it to be quiet. The other downfall we have seen is how easy it is for him to sit down at any time and start working instead of setting “office hours”. I simply have to remind myself that I need to be thankful he has a job period. See the good over the hard and to say yes when he asks if I need a little break in my day 🙂

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