Truth Time: How Technology Sucked the Life Out of Me

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A Blessing and a Curse

computer viewToday’s technology offers us so many amazing resources. Time savers. Mommy helpers.

There are blogs about child development. Online communities for school or Bible study. Pinterest for meal planning and finding curriculum. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter keep us connected with our friends and customers on the go. All at our fingertips. Readily available, just waiting for us to connect.

I believed that all of those things were helpful and necessary. Until I realized they were sucking the life out of me.

The Balancing Act of Motherhood

Being a mom is hard. Being a working mom is hard. No matter the podcasts I listen to or colleagues I query, the balancing act is near to impossible. If any of you have figured out the secret, I implore you to write a book because there are a million desperate mommies out here.

I’m a mom. A wife. A Director with Thity-one Gifts. And Co-Founder of Des Moines Moms Blog. A Cubbies leader. And I fill a ton of other roles like every other mama reading this, and well… you might agree that motherhood is just hard.

As a mom, finding time to fit in “life” is a challenge, so we naturally seek anything that could make that easier. Anything that offers a bit of reprieve is a welcome addition to our whirlwind days and busy life on the run.

I used technology to be more efficient at said “busy life.” More effective. Task oriented. Available.

Both of my jobs require substantial screen time so I always told myself it was acceptable to be on the computer or my phone multiple times a day.

Warning Signs

It began as the occasional “Just a minute.” Or, “Mommy just needs to finish this and I’ll be right in.” Once in awhilewhen the Internet was slow I would get irritated. Some days it reared its head in my daughter seeking attention negatively. These “small” things that were occasional began to be the norm. The minor irritations were beginning to rock my core.

I started to see a shift in our days. A change in my relationship with my daughter. My personal disposition and demeanor were not who I used to be. The still small voice I heard regularly was faint.

The same technological advancements that were supposed to help my life were taking over my life.

clare daddys birthdayThey were interfering with the child I loved the most.

Even though my heart desired time with her, I had to finalize one more post. Enter one more order. Even though I could hear her playing quietly and longed to be next to her, there was that one more task that needed finished and I knew if I didn’t do it now it would never get done.

The day I crashed looked something like this:

My daughter ran into the office with a picture she drew. With a proud smile she said, “Look what I did, Mama.” Then, I proceeded to crush that sweet, innocent spirit by saying, “Not now, baby. It’s still work time.” [Insert a broken heart.]

A Need to Change

I always thought I would recognize if technology started taking over my life. Wrong.

I read Hands Free Mama and knew many moms were aware of the technology trap. I heard professionals talk about teens and how screen time affected behavior. Yet I ignored all of the warning signs in my own life.

I had to wake up. Get disciplined. Set boundaries. Establish office hours. Live life outside of the screen. Give my family what I vowed I would.

For me, that means not even opening my computer until it is time to work. I often have to hide my phone in a drawer so I can’t see it. Turn my phone on do not disturb so I don’t hear the alerts. Set a timer when I log in to Facebook.

Those things sound drastic.

I agree completely.

It seems crazy that I would choose to put my computer or phone in front of my cheerful little girl who longs for nothing but her mama’s heart. It breaks my heart to admit that my struggle with this is that real. A mother is supposed to be selfless and put her child and family’s needs first and I’ve totally failed at that. Multiple times.

But I’m thankful for grace and know that tomorrow is a new day. A chance to live life outside of the screen. A chance to be the mom I want to be.

How do you handle technology? I’d love to hear how you protect yourself from screen “overload.”

2 COMMENTS

  1. Sarah. This is great. Thanks for your honesty and I know many of us can relate. Great tips on what to do to “unplug”. I especially love the timer for facebook, that is a time-sucker for sure!

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