Happy Birthday: Celebrating Life with My Mom

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My sister and very pregnant mother
My sister and very pregnant mother

On the eve of each of my kids’ birthdays, I like to think about what I was doing on my last night as a pregnant lady, just before we met our new baby. I think about how I felt, how I looked, where we lived at the time. I get very sentimental thinking about those moments in time, and how my life was forever changed when we first met our baby.

Last week, I celebrated my birthday. As I lay in bed the night before, I thought of my mom and what she must have felt 28 years ago. Feeling me squirm and kick and not knowing if I was a boy or a girl, or when I was going to enter the world. The fears and anxieties she must have felt as she held her swollen tummy. Tucking my nearly two-year-old sister into bed and then trying to get comfortable in her own. Wondering if that night would be the night. Wondering if her daughter would be jealous of the new baby. Wondering if someone would be available to watch big sister while she was laboring. Wondering if my dad would be home when she went into labor. Wondering how she could possibly love two tiny humans equally.

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As I reflect on that day in 1986, I am overcome with emotion. My mom has given me so much to be thankful for. I celebrate each birthday in honor of her. She has raised me from a tiny little embryo to a full grown adult. She has shaped me. She has given me room to grow. She has protected me. She has given me all the tools I need to be a mother, a wife, a friend.

My mom has worked hard for me. Every day for 28 years. When I was little, it was the diaper changes, the discipline, the socializing, fostering sisterly love. As a pre-teen, it was the outpouring of love and understanding, the clear boundaries (that I am certain were not easy to maintain), building my confidence, the effort to keep me grounded and grateful. As a teen, it was being my biggest fan at sport events, finding the balance of mother vs. friend, opening her heart and her home to my friends.

image (1) When I became a new mother myself, she continued to work hard for me. Defending me to anyone who thought I couldn’t do it, staying with me in my room through those first few painful nights, being my cheerleader as I figured it all out, and letting me cry on her shoulder when I couldn’t take it anymore. And when I became a new wife, she was always available and (though she ached to have me home) encouraged me, endlessly, to work for my marriage.

As I celebrate this birthday, I am not bitter that I didn’t have a huge party or frustrated that my day is consumed with motherly duties. I am completely aware of how much I have to be thankful for. Because of her, I understand the unconditional love and sacrifice that comes with being a mom. It is always made more clear on my birthday, when I need to give of myself just like any other day. I am able to do so more freely because of her. For this, I am forever grateful.

Cheers to another year of life! Mom, I hope and pray each birthday is easier!

Share one way your mom or dad has been there for you since you became a parent.

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