After you have more than two kids, you start getting the “how do you do it?” comments (along with the countless other comments). And so I’ve been thinking: How do I do it? There isn’t any one answer. Like anyone with kids, you just do it, right? But there are ways to make it easier. I have come up with a few things outside the typical crockpot/meal planning/electronic devices/drinking wine suggestions.
Multi-task
I am a huge multi-tasker. I am an artist, and lately I have been creating some “very time consuming” pieces of string art (because yes, I do have “a lot of time on my hands”) (and YES, that was sarcasm) (and you can see my art here … of course I have to plug my own stuff — I am multi-tasking).
Anyways, back to the topic. The way I get time to paint boards, hammer nails and string the thread for these beauties, all while my kids are underfoot, is by multi tasking. Before I get started, I make sure I have a load of laundry going, or dishes in the dishwasher. Then I have a plan on what I am going to do. First, I paint the boards. While multiple boards are drying, I sweep the floor or make snacks or do puzzles. While the kids are watching the Octonauts or Mickey Mouse (gasp … yes, my kids watch TV … and have their own Kindles), I am hammering the nails. I usually string the thread after the kids are in bed. I make the time to do something I love to keep me happy and creative.
I multi-task through most of my day. When I am playing blocks, I try to sneak in learning. You probably do that too. That’s multi-tasking.
Here’s another example. I am sure that, just like it is for me, it is hard for you to find time to take a shower, let alone do your hair. I recently figured out a perfect good way to get it done. This may not work for you, depending on the age and personality of your kids, but here is what I do. I sneak away to take a shower 30 minutes before the boys’ bath time. After I take a shower, I get the boys in the bath. After they are washed and while they are playing, I dry my hair! MULTI-TASKING, ladies! Does it happen every time? NO. Do I get to finish every time? NO. But it is successful sometimes.
Rethink the laundry
It still amazes me how many pieces of clothing we go through. It’s everywhere, all the time. I had always just washed all our clothes, without sorting, in cold water. After everything dried, I would throw it all on the bed and sort and hang. I hang the two little boys’ clothes, and just recently started putting my oldest son’s clothes in a dresser. Well, recently I had an epiphany. Now I sort clothes, not by color but by size (child size and adult size, that is). So when the clothes are ready to be put away, I take the basket into one room — children’s room or adults’ room — and it cuts the sorting down significantly.
I am sure there are some people who have been doing this from the very beginning. But maybe there are some people out there who will think, “Huh, why in the world am I not doing it like that?”
Host home play dates
I need adult interaction. I need playmates for my children. Getting out to a park or the library isn’t always possible or convenient, so I plan gatherings at my home. That way I get to see some friendly faces, my boys get interaction, it forces me to clean my house a little more than usual and I don’t have to get out of my pajamas or my house. Win-win.
Ask for help
When you have more than two kids (or even when you don’t) and your husband travels as much as mine does (or even when he doesn’t travel at all), you will eventually need help at some point. And I am not afraid to ask for help.
After my youngest was born, I wasn’t afraid to ask the boys’ teacher if she could bring them home sometimes while the baby was napping. Recently I woke up one morning (well, it was morning, but I don’t know if you could say I WOKE up). and all three kids were snotty. One child had an explosive diaper and another peed in MY bed and also had a bloody nose. My husband was out of town for the week and I had just one dryer sheet. I called a friend to see if she could bring me some. She was willing to wake up her sleeping child to bring them to me. I told her it wasn’t necessary, but it makes me smile and tear up to think she was willing to do that.
I got over being too good to ask for help a long time ago. Another bonus from asking for help: It will most likely strengthen your friendships. You will know you can count on them and they can count on you (as long as you hold up your end of the friendship).
Remind yourself, “It’s OK”
I remember that it is OK to say no. And it’s OK to not be perfect.
It is OK that my 5-year-old takes the bus home. He just started kindergarten and I wanted to be one of those moms that picked him up everyday. And I COULD do that. But I was waking the youngest up from his nap, and the middle would fall asleep in the car (which screws everything up). And the oldest wanted to ride the bus. So I let him ride the bus. And it’s OK.
I want the boys to go to birthday parties, but sometimes we have to cancel because Daddy is only home on the weekend. Family time may only be going to the grocery store, but it’s our family time. And it’s OK.
If I find myself stressing that I am not sneaking in enough learning into block play, I remember, “It’s OK to just play.”
There are some days that I could do better, and there are other days I am clearly SUPERMOM. I am doing the best I can, and that is all any of us can do, no matter if we have 1 child or 19 kids (and counting).
What are some things you do that help make your life a little easier?
