I had a friend suffer through 2 miscarriages in the first trimester before delivering a healthy baby. When she found out she was pregnant for the 3rd time, she told me ‘If I can just make it past the first trimester, I can stop worrying.‘ I told her, ‘I hate to tell you this, but you’re a mom now, you’ll never stop worrying.‘ I don’t think she believed me at first because for months, our conversations went as follows:
‘I’m out of the first trimester. Now if I can just have my 20 week ultrasound, I can stop worrying.’
‘I had my 20 week ultrasound, but I haven’t felt the baby kick much today. Once the baby kicks a lot, I can stop worrying.’
‘I’m full-term, but what if something happens in delivery? If I can just deliver this baby, I can stop worrying.’
Needless to say, she had that beautiful baby…and she didn’t stop worrying. Then it became SIDS, breast vs. bottle, day-night confusion, sleep training…
And I have toddlers, so my worries also include picking schools, predators, cancer, bullies… The list can and does go on and on.
I can’t explain the phenomenon that as soon as that pregnancy test shows positive, you turn into a worry wart, but it’s true! My mom has said many times that she still worries daily about my sister and me, and we’re both in our 30s.
So what is a mother to do? I think the best thing is to try not to let the worry consume you. I know, I know…easier said than done sometimes. As a 2-time survivor of post-partum anxiety, I know all too well how hard it is to calm those irrational thoughts. But my daily {sometimes hourly or more frequent} trick was reminding myself that worrying about something would never solve it. I had a friend tell me once ‘Wait to worry.’, and that has been a mantra used many times. I don’t think that means don’t be prepared for situations you can control, but I try to remember that when I have the thoughts of cancer or measles running through my head.
What do you think of ‘mommy worry syndrome’? What are your tricks for beating it?
::Motherhood Poll :: What do you worry most about as a mother?
