Choosing Godparents For Your Children

I’m a member of a “secret group” on Facebook. I know… it sounds strange to me too, but I love being able to post things about mommyhood and female stuff that not all 515 of my friends can read about. 90% of the women in the “secret group” I don’t know from Adam, but I know all sorts of things about their children, husbands, mother in laws (oh don’t get me started about the MIL’s), rashes, bumps, lumps, pregnancies, etc. I guess I could create lists where only certain Facebook friends can see certain posts, but that just sounds like a pain in the a$$ to me and besides, I love being a part of something that’s a “secret”. Anywho, this “secret group” is all things mommy related and the other day someone posed an interesting question. This particular person wanted advice on how to choose a Godparent. Like every other subject matter that gets posted in our “secret group”, dozens of women came back with varying different answers with how they chose Godparents for their child. So how does one go about choosing a Godparent?

According to good ole’ faithful, Wikipedia “Traditionally, godparents were informally responsible for ensuring the child’s religious education was carried out, and for caring for the child should he/she be orphaned. Today, the word godparent might not have explicitly religious overtones. The modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child’s upbringing and personal development.”

Choosing a Godparent for your child is so personal and speaking from experience, can really ruffle some feathers depending on who you choose for the coveted role. Wesley and I are Christians, but we drink, we don’t go to church EVERY Sunday (which I feel guilty about, because I’m Facebook friends with both my pastors so they typically know what I’m doing on the weekends that prevents me from attending church on Sunday), we curse, and we don’t give thanks to God before every single meal (mostly when we’re eating out). However, we are Christians and love Jesus!!! Can I get an, “Amen”???!!!

Our reason for selecting Lincoln’s Godparents was somewhat religious in terms of the “traditional” term, but for the most part we selected them for pretty non-traditional purposes.

We don’t HAVE TO HAVE Godparents for our children and there are plenty of Christians that choose not to, but for our family, we definitely wanted Godparents for Lincoln. I’m 99.9% sure that Wesley’s brother/Lincoln’s Uncle thought we would choose him as the Godfather and I’m 1000% sure my sister/Lincoln’s Aunt thought we would/should have chosen her as the Godmother. I think they thought it was a given since they are the only siblings in the equation.

However, we decided to carefully select my best friend for the last 13 years as Lincoln’s Godmother and my husband’s best friend since Elementary School as his Godfather. We made this decision not to piss off family, but because these 2 people are extremely important in our lives and we wanted them to have an integral part in our child’s life… More than just “mommy and daddy’s best friends”. We thought they were deserving of a title regardless of their religious beliefs. We didn’t choose them to ensure that “our child’s religious education was carried out” … in our opinion, that is our role as parents.

My sister was HURT to say the least and couldn’t believe we would have the audacity to pick someone other than her! I had to explain to her more than once that she has the VERY important title of “Aunt” and Shailene has the title of Godmother. Religion had no bearing on our decision to pick these 2 amazing individuals so for us the “traditional” nature of having Godparents was completely out the window. I think the biggest thing I had to explain was the traditional “orphaned” part of things… everyone wanted to know what that meant for Lincoln should we both {GASP} die. Wesley and I have talked about that subject matter 100 times and still can’t agree on anything other than WE AREN’T DYING!!!!; however, we do agree on one thing, our Godparents are not in the equation should we go to the high heavens. We don’t regret who we chose to be Lincoln’s Godparents and are honored to have Godmother Shailene and Godfather Danny in our family regardless of what our siblings thought we would’ve/should’ve done.

Maria & Danny Gaskins, John Harmon, Wesley & Allison Mack, Susan “Allison’s Mom”, Shailene (holding Lincoln), Kenya, and Jade Smith at Lincoln’s Baptism, Central Presbyterian Church

Did you select Godparents for your child/ren? If so, what decisions did you factor into your selection?

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3 Responses to Choosing Godparents For Your Children

  1. Jwkaram April 6, 2012 at 8:47 am #

    Allison, yes, you bring up such a touchy subject!!! I am with you– I chose a best friend over any of my sisters as Godmother, while my husband chose his only brother as Godfather. To me, the Aunts and Uncles of the world already have those special titles and places in the child’s heart . . . Choosing a friend just makes the kiddo’s “village” larger.

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